How Time Flies

So I woke up this morning raring to go...but before I got out of bed I realized that I'm marking the end of my third week in Edinburgh. That shocked me. It seems like yesterday that I was packing feverishly and dreading the plane ride through the night. Then there was the pain of separation, and the struggle of getting adjusted--finding food and cooking; feeling like a freshman all over again. While I can't say that all of those feelings have dissipated, things have gotten a lot better. I've started trying to picture myself not being in Edinburgh, mainly because I seem to always be yearning for home. Yet the thought of leaving is not a pleasant thought as well. While this is not the constant party vacation from the mundane that most people describe study abroad to be--there are some really nice changes, more regular, everyday changes, which make this experience memorable and nice. There's getting to watch TV at night, getting to sleep in at times, really diving into my reading, not having to talk in class, getting to go to pubs, watching constant football (er...soccer) and so many other things that I will not soon be wanting to give up.

Today I got up for Philosophy, which has been really good lately. The lecture--about intrinsic value--was good. Yet it's very cold today, so I treated myself to an Americano in the Library Cafe. I must say, as a quick anecdote, not having coffee has been really rough. Since there's no coffee maker in the flat I made the conscious decision to not buy one and try and break my addiction. I'm definitely not dependent on caffeine, but the speed in which I was able to readapt leads me to believe that I never was "addicted." Instead, I just miss the taste. I don't casually list coffee under my interests on Facebook--I genuniely love the drink. Anyway, I digress.

So I'm here on the 3rd floor of the Library, just surfing the net and trying to kill this awkward hour in between classes. Then it's on the Welfare, Justice, and the State, a Social Policy honors class. It's a bit too theory based for my liking, but I'm learning so much in that class, as well as in my Social Secuirty seminar. I'm learning about poverty, both practically and theoretically, and more importantly, how governments can react to poverty and possibly fix it. While the classes are not easy--this is a world Top 20 unveristy after all--I'm learning so much. Hopefully that will translate to a better thesis--on the subject of government social welfare programs--and a successful career. Yes, I know that maybe I shouldn't be looking that far ahead, but no one who knows me well would be surprised.

Anyway, that's about it. 20 minutes till cass, then back home for lunch and packing. It's off to Bridge of Allan for the weekend. I'm staying with some friends (more like surrogate parents) who are putting me up, feeding me, letting me use their laundry facilities, showing me tons of movies, and giving me an overall place to relax before my birthday. Oh, yea, my birthday. That's on Monday. I can't say I'm all that exicited right now, for a myriad reasons. But I hope by the time that I post on that day, about what it really means to me, my tune will have changed.

Until then...

First Match At Ibrox

As I write this, I am reminded of one of my favorite movies, Green Street Hooligans. For those of you who aren't familiar, it's the story of an American kid who goes to visit his sister in London and gets caught up in a supporters club, or "firm" connected with West Ham FC.

Now, to preface, my day did not include violence, skinheads, police, or overall debauchery, but what this does remin

d me of is the part of the movie where Matt Buckner, pl

ayed by Toby McGuire, is found to be journaling about his experiences, a big no no in that culture. Again, there is no top secret information being

disseminated here, but the parallels are somewhat striking.

So I woke up around 10AM, did my usual morning routine--pulled on my jersey and scarf and started walking. For the past couple weeks--or months actually--I've been corresponding with the President of the Edinburgh Rangers Fans Association, a group of fans who travel to pretty much every match on a chartered bus. The meeting place for the bus, however, was in a part of Edinburgh that I had never been to before. So I sloshed along in the rain, along the course that I had previously plotted on Google Maps. I did have to ask directions a couple times--yes, men can do that without losing their manhood--and after about 40 minutes, finally found Haymarket Terrace.

I got on the bus, a double decker packed to the rafters with fans. Right off the bat, Unioni

st tunes were blasted over the loud speakers--everything that makes Rangers fans im/famous as well as legendary. The leader of the group, Scott, took me under his wing, which was really nice. He wasn't that old, but the fact that someone cared enough to take me through the paces was rather comforting. Being an American fan of a Scottish club takes a lot of work and preparation, and while talking about the team is hard enough, knowing what to actually do on a game day is a whole other matter.

So we get to Glasgow, on the route that I had known previously from the summer. We got off at a pub called The District--which turned out to be a real Rangers hotbed. It was packed to the rafters with red, white, and blue. Men with their pints and Ulster tattoos--right out of any

European football textbook. A bunch of us--I was by far the youngest--got some pints and sat and talked about the match ahead. Tennent's had never tasted so good.

Then it got to be about match time, and we walked towards the stadium. It felt like walking onto Yawkey way before a Sox game--vendors everywhere, fathers and sons donning the colors, chants and the whole bit. Seeing Ibrox in the winter, and in action was everything I could have hoped for. The only downside was that we cut it so close to kickoff that I didn't get to do much else other than get in and get out--maybe next time. Anyway, Rangers played poorly, and were only able to salvage a draw thanks to the spectacular play of 19 year old Andy Little, who scored the equalizing goal in about the 87th minute. I wasn't that happy, especially because I had dragged my friend David along (David is a friend I made in Ayr, way back in 2003. We've kept in touch ever since).

Now it's about 9PM, it took me a good 45 minutes to walk back to the bus--only getting lost once or twice. I've cooked dinner and now I'm simply able to savor the fact that I did it. I went to the home of my heroes, for what will hopefully not be the last time. Despite the fact that I am absolutely exhausted, it was an amazing day.

Starting to feel like home...

In July, while I was in Bridge of Allan, I wrote a post about how home was a relative term. I explained that while there will always be a place where which our hearts yearn for more than any other, we humans are adaptable creatures, and can make any set of surroundings feel familiar and safe.

Edinburgh is starting to feel this way for me. It's been a little less than two weeks

and logic would say that I would still be exploring and feeling uncertain. While it would be foolish for me to say that I feel 100% adapted to city life, Scottish life, and Edinburgh life, I can say that I'm feeling much better about everything. The walk to most places is starting to feel familiar, so familiar at times that I am able to recognize changes in my surroundings. I now know Tesco and Lidl pretty well--I've learned to look to my right first before I cross the street, and I have even gotten used to thinking about items' value in terms of pounds.

The flat is familiar. The people in it know me pretty well. I've gotten into a general routine in terms of cooking, eating, doing work, taking a shower, even going without coffee. It was definitely a bigger battle than I had imagined. I was thinking that it would be a piece of cake--not to be. Yet, it's also taken significantly less time, considering my overall demeanor a short week ago, for me to adapt. For this I am thankful.

On a more concrete note. Classes are going well. The weather is cold but not rainy. My room is hotter than hot, even without the heat on. Chicken Tikka is amazing. Belhaven makes damn good beer. Rangers are top of the Scottish Premier League and I'm making my first venture to Ibrox on Saturday to see them take on Hearts. I've adapted to lower academic expectations of myself--which are probably not all that low. I'm doing my best to read only 4 or 5 readings per class (unless of course there are fewer than that available.) Oh, and I've grown addicted to Football Manager again. It's a weird feeling to have that entertaining thing which you can't wait to get back to. While it is distracting at times, it's a feeling which I haven't felt in a long time--at least since last summer--so for that I am thankful.

While South Portland is still "home," home is definitely where the heart is, and at this point it's Edinburgh. Thanks be to God that I'm having this chance and that so far I'm making the most of it.

The Weekend

So ends my first weekend in Edinburgh--a lot of fun. We stayed in on Friday but made it out on the town yesterday night--went to Teviot, the student union, which has four pubs in it with some of the cheapest beer in town. My flatmates and I just sat, talked, and drank for a few hours, before venturing back where we consumed some wonderfully horrible Domino's pizza.

During the day on Saturday--despite having serious frustrations with my computer--I went out for a walk around the city. So as to not be redundant I'll direct anyone who wants to see the pictures to look at my Facebook. We just walked for three or so hours,. We went to Princes Street--the main shopping center--then just took a random turn and walked down streets we didn't know at all. I realized during the walk why I was in Scotland--to explore, to take risks, and to just have fun. As a result, I'm planning on taking many more such walks during the next few weeks. While I know a lot of Edinburgh already, I want to find places that I've never seen before--whether they be pubs, or parks, or just beautiful sites that I couldn't find anywhere else. My simple goal is to remember that I'm not here just for the academics--if I was, I wouldn't have left Bates. Instead, I want to explore, learn, and just enjoy myself.

This weekend, though short, saw the end of my min-depression. I feel much more adjusted, familiar, and happy. I think that I've gotten the grip of cooking. The stores are more familiar, academics less scary, and thus everything seems to be falling into place.

So next it's on to the sports. I go to Ibrox in Glasgow next Saturday, for my first Rangers match. For anyone that knows me, you can know that this is indeed a momentous occasion. Oh, and I might get to see some Scotland v. France rugby action soon. Till next time...

Dealing With Change

So the transition definitely hasn't been as easy as I would have hoped.

I guess it all took me by surprise. For one reason or another I had expected this to be like an academic vacation. I was going to a country and city that I love, studying fun subjects, and the grades wouldn't go into my GPA. But yet, there are certain aspects that I've found so far that have been more frustrating than exciting.

First there's the food. I miss Commons. Period. I knew that cooking for myself wouldn't be that easy, but it's more than just the food--it's the added stress of deciding what you're going to buy; how you're going to prepare something, and when to do all of that amongst a million other things. Thankfully, I have a microwave, so I'm able to cook double and put a portion aside for later. Yet, my repertoire has proven to be horrendously small and has almost been depleted after the first week.

Then there's the UK academic system. I've sort of grown to like it over the past day--but it definitely takes some getting used to. Normally, students spend far less time in class than in the US--but the remainder of their time is spent reading and preparing for lectures. After the initial shock of having to deal with something new--of feeling like a freshman again--I've realized that it's not all that bad. I don't really think that I'm doing that much more reading here than I would be at Bates, and since I'm rarely in class, I'm able to get it all done during the day and relax during the nights.

The walking is different--and much more frequent than at Bates. It's a 10 minute walk to class; a 20 minute walk to the gym; a 20 minute walk to the train station or any shopping. While this definitely helps keep me healthy, my feet are already blistered.

All of this leads to eventual exhaustion. I'm getting a decent amount of sleep, but I feel like more is needed. Oh, and since we don't have a coffee maker I've taken to drinking black tea in the morning--not the easiest transition in the middle of everything else.

So that's about it. Unfortunately I don't have much of anything exciting to report. It does look like I'll be going to Glasgow next weekend to see Rangers--very exciting. And I've been promised a full-fledged Scottish Friday night coming up, so much more to report on that I'm sure. Until then, cheers mates.

First Day

I haven't felt the "first day jitters" like this in a long time. Yesterday I was oriented, given so much information about life here in Edinburgh that I wanted to die. It was as if I had never gone to Bates, had never been to college, had never experienced anything like this, and was starting from scratch. Being a junior now, this is a very disconcerting feeling, something that I don't like at all. Then, to make it all worse, I discovered the reading list, and seeing readings assigned for today, started stressing out--per usual--and frantically skimming. I did this successfully, if you can name finishing "success" but the level of uncertainty and unadultered fear that I felt was something that was disconcerting beyond belief.

To make matters worse, the fire alarm went off at 1:30AM, just as I was about to fall asleep--making me get up and stand outside in the bitter cold for another half hour. Needless to say, this morning wasn't that fun, especially considering my feeble attempts to substitute black tea for coffee to save money--it will work, I'm sure, but the relative drop in caffeine is not something I'm really used to.

Lecture was good, though very different. Usually when studying philosophy I'm used to small classes--25 to 30--and an intimate discussion or debate about the reading. This class, however, is 300 strong, in a massive theater, with PowerPoint slides and a mic'd professor. While the professor's North Carolina accent was much easier to understand than most Scottish brogues, he moved at the speed of light, making it very hard to keep up in my notes. Yet, since lectures are only 50 minutes long, I was done before I knew it.

So on to the rest of my day--which includes registration, getting an ID card, a meeting with my Director of Studies (academic advisor), going to the gym, getting groceries, and other things, long before I think about turning to homework. If this was meant to be a vacation, I haven't found it yet--hopefully once I've been through everything once, I'll be able to relax and enjoy the ride.

People Watching

So yes, this may come off as a bit creepy, but since Google has gifted every computer owner free Wifi until 15 January I ave decided to just look around and write about what I see.

People watching is the only thing that makes air travel tolerable--except maybe the anticipation of finally reaching your destination. If you take it far enough, you can try and imagine where people are going, where they've been, what language they're speaking--it makes the time pass rather fast because of course, there is never a shortage of people in an airport.

As I sit outside of Gate E6 in Logan Airport, waiting for my Paris-bound flight, there is a large group of college kids in front of me, most likely bound for a program in France. They're meeting each other for the first time, swapping defining information and fantasizing about what the next few months will hold. Most strike me as rather geeky, maybe that's why they're headed to France, just kidding, sorta.

Then there's little old me--laptop on my lap, iPod playing some good tunes, waiting to go to Paris, but thankfully only for a short time. I'm also looking at my information which I will need once I finally hit ground in Edinburgh--some 17 hours from now. I don't think Scotland is any better than any place else, at least not theoreitcally. But as I savor the thoughts of what will greet me in a few hours, I am overly thankful for what I have, and what I will have very soon. No program for me, just give me my marching orders and off I go--to class, to drink, to football (Follow Follow). Let's just hope it all turns out okay--in the mean time I will simply enjoy and take care of the things I can control, wait, listen, and take it all in--thus is the essence of people watching.

The Day Before.

For anyone out there who can stay calm before embarking on a long trip, or new adventure, I applaud you. I cannot. For lack of a better descriptor, my emotions seem to bring together the nervousness of the first day of school, the excitement of Christmas Eve, and the horror of moving across the country.

Last night I watched the official video of The Gathering in Edinburgh this past summer. It was the culmination of a year of Scottish celebration--where Scots from all over the world "came home" to be together and celebrate their heritage. I was there, for the end at least, hearing the pipes, smelling the smells, and loving every moment. I felt that watching these events over again would reinvigorate my yearning to return.

It did to a certain extent. Obviously, I've been planning for this trip forever. Regardless of the two previous occasions on which I've been to Scotland, this upcoming adventure promises to be completely different. The embrace of parents and family will be substituted for the support of friends--both new and old. Vacation will be substituted for school work--to a certain extent--and will help shape my days. Those are the only parallels, the rest is uncharted.

I'm a 20--soon to be 21 year old boy--with an insatiable love for Scotland, a few dollars in my pocket, and the world at my fingertips. That, hopefully, will be the emotions that grip me in a few days time. In the mean time, however, I have to do that thing they call travelling--which is never fun, The packing, the stressing over airline security measures, having a long layover in a country that doesn't speak English, missing a connection, and finally getting to my flat, meeting those who will be living with me, and not passing out of sheer exhaustion on the way. It is indeed an adventure, but the logistical strings that seem to attach themselves in every possible nook and cranny of my excitement seem to dampen the mood a bit.

But I'm adaptable. Over the past few weeks I've been surprised more at what hasn't scared me than what actually has. I don't seem to be worrying about cooking and shopping for groceries, nor do I seem to care about who I live with. These things, as far as I can discern, will take care of themselves. I won't be alone in my striving for new things, or meeting new people. It's not as if I'm the only person at the U of Edinburgh who will be experiencing these things for the first time--so to assume that I'm that important in the grad sweep of things is foolish. I do worry about the classes a bit, but hell, that's just how I function. The only prayer I have is that I can experience life in Edinburgh whilst I do my work; that I can read in a Starbucks, read in a park, write a paper sitting near the Parliament building. Yes, the things I will hopefully learn in my classes will carry over and help me further down the road--but this is the trip of a lifetime, I need to plan and work with these things in mind.

So that's it--it's off to pack now, pack what's left. When I update next, barring having internet in Paris, I will be in Scotland! Slainte and Cheers!