21

So I'm 21, just like that. Most birthdays, especially those following the legalization of 18, or the driving age of 16, have been underwhelming. That's not to say that the outpouring of good wishes from friends and family, the cake, and the presents aren't awesome--but in terms of feeling different or really sensing changes in yourself, the last couple birthdays have been really basic. This one is different.

Yes, we all know that in the US, 21 means you can drink legally. That's a big deal in many ways. You can go to sports bars, clubs, go to Shaw's and buy a 6-pack, all of those things which you've been yearning to do for at least the past couple years. But here I am, in Scotland, where the drinking age is 18. No magic switch was flipped at midnight. I have no new ability under this set of laws which enables me to do something completely different. Again, it's a birthday, but not one that's all that special. Yet in the UK, 21 is still a big deal, regardless of the dearth of meaning. To them, 21 is a true coming of age birthday. You were bordering on adulthood for the past couple years, and with the turning of this page you can actually claim to be an adult. While you don't get any special legal recognition as such, 21 is seen as real milestone, a doorway into adulthood.

Because of all of this; because I could go out and buy my celebratory bottle of Famous Grouse last week, before the day arrived, I've been able to sit and ponder a bit about what 21 really means. Since the whole "you can buy booze" mystique is not present, I can think about what 21 means to me on a much more personal and profound way. To me, I really do feel different today. For a while now I've been feeling caught between the feelings of freshman year--the excitement, craziness, and unadulterated fear--and knowing that I wanted to be able to grow up in some ways--to be more responsible, to be taken more seriously and other such things.

Of course, I've been responsible and respected for some time. Yet turning 21 feels like the turning of the page. I feel as if I have now gained every liberty in the book. Regardless of the fact that I won't be able to buy booze in the States till June, I feel as if my culture has now validated my citizenship--I've got it all. But what does all entail? I now have all the priveleges, as well as all of the responsibilities. I am now closer to 30 than I am to 10--closer to being a seasoned adult than a complete child. I'm 18 months away from graduation and setting out into the big, bad world.

Words cannot describe fully the sense of deep pleasure I'm feeling from this birthday, and while I may be attempting to create something more profound than what is really there, I feel as if I have tapped into something that often gets lost in the American celebrations of this illustrious occasion. The whole alcohol thing is really awesome, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that if I was at home I wouldn't be do all of things which are expected. But since I don't have to do that--or actually just don't have the opportunity--I feel as if I can unpack it more. In that regard the boxes are still relatively full, and the apartment is very messy. Growing up takes time, effort, and patience. Yet I feel as if I've started; I've reached the point of no return, and I am starting to gain what I need to take the final steps.

I will be going out tonight, just in case some of you were worrying that I would be sitting here being philosophical all night. Probably a good dinner with friends and then my favorite bar for a few pints--a simple, yet joyous night. I thank all of you out there who have made my first 21 year special. For those who have taught me, loved me and inspired me. To my family, including the grandparents I have lost and never met, thank you for your love, both then and now and into the future. I hope I have done your memories justice.

Ok, enough of all that. Yes, it's a great day, time to go make the most of it. Slainte!